Choosing the right person to be your attorney: a step-by-step guide

Making a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) is one of the most important decisions you'll make for your future. But here's the thing – filling out the forms is actually the easy part. The real challenge? Choosing the right person to be your attorney.

It's not just about picking someone you trust, though that's certainly important. Your attorney will potentially make crucial decisions about your finances, your health and your daily life. They need to understand you, your values and what matters most to you. Getting this choice right now means peace of mind later, knowing that someone who truly gets you is looking after your interests.

Don't worry if this feels overwhelming. We'll break it down step by step, so you can feel confident about this important decision.

What does an attorney actually do?

Before we dive into who to choose, let's get clear on what you're actually asking someone to take on. Many people think an attorney just steps in when things go wrong, but the reality is much more nuanced.

If you create an LPA for Property and Financial Affairs, your attorney might handle everyday tasks like paying your bills, managing your bank accounts, or dealing with your pension. They could also make bigger decisions like selling your home or managing investments. The Citizens Advice website explains that attorneys often become involved gradually, starting with smaller tasks and taking on more as needed.

For Health and Welfare LPAs, your attorney will only act when you can't make decisions for yourself. But when that time comes, they might choose where you live, what care you receive, and even make medical decisions on your behalf. As Age UK points out, this includes decisions about life-sustaining treatment – which is why choosing someone who really understands your values is so crucial.

This isn't just about finding someone reliable with money or someone who cares about you. Your attorney needs to be able to step into your shoes and make decisions you'd be comfortable with.

The essential qualities to look for

So what makes someone suitable to be your attorney? There are some legal requirements – they need to be over 18 and not bankrupt if you're giving them financial powers. But beyond that, you're looking for someone with the right combination of personal qualities.

Reliability is non-negotiable. Your attorney needs to be someone who follows through on commitments and can be counted on when it matters. Think about how they handle their own responsibilities. Do they pay their bills on time? Do they show up when they say they will? These might seem like small things, but they're good indicators of how they'll handle your affairs.

Good judgement matters too. You want someone who makes thoughtful decisions, not someone who acts impulsively or gets flustered under pressure. Consider how they've handled difficult situations in their own life or how they've supported others through challenges.

Availability is often overlooked but crucial. Being an attorney can involve regular tasks and occasional urgent decisions. If someone is already overwhelmed with work, caring responsibilities, or health issues, they might not be able to give your affairs the attention they need.

Most importantly, they need to know you well. The Alzheimer's Society emphasises that your attorney should understand your values, preferences, and what matters to you. They'll need to make decisions based on what you would have wanted, not what they think is best.

Family vs friends: weighing your options

Many people automatically think "family first" when choosing an attorney, and often that makes perfect sense. Adult children frequently become attorneys for their parents and spouses for each other. Family members usually know you well, care about your wellbeing and are motivated to act in your best interests.

But family isn't always the right answer. Sometimes the most loving family member isn't the most practical choice. Maybe your daughter lives overseas, or your son struggles to manage his own finances. Perhaps there are family tensions that could make decision-making difficult.

Don't overlook friends who might be excellent attorneys. A close friend might understand your values better than some family members, especially if you've chosen different life paths. Professional friends – perhaps someone who works in finance or healthcare – might bring valuable expertise to the role.

You might also consider professional attorneys, such as solicitors who specialise in this area. This can work well if your affairs are complex or if you don't have suitable family or friends. However, professional attorneys charge fees for their services, which is something to factor into your decision.

The key is to think practically about who can actually do the job well, not just who you feel you ought to choose.

Having "the conversation"

Once you've identified your preferred choice, you need to have an honest conversation with them. Don't assume they'll automatically say yes – being an attorney is a significant responsibility and thoughtful people might need time to consider it properly.

Start by explaining what a power of attorney is and why you want to make one. Many people have misconceptions about what's involved, so it's worth referring them to reliable information sources like the government's guidance on lasting powers of attorney.

Be clear about what you're asking them to do. Will you want them to help with day-to-day finances straight away, or only step in if you lose capacity? Do you have strong preferences about future care? Are there family dynamics they should be aware of?

Ask them directly: are they willing and able to take this on? Do they have any concerns or questions? It's better to have these conversations now than discover problems later.

Also discuss your values and preferences. What matters most to you about how your money is managed? What are your feelings about different types of care? If you're creating a Health and Welfare LPA, what are your views on medical treatment? The more your attorney understands your perspective, the better they can represent your interests.

Backup plans and multiple attorneys

Here's something many people don't consider: what happens if your chosen attorney can't continue? People move away, become ill, or circumstances change. That's why it's smart to name replacement attorneys who can step in if needed.

You can also choose to have multiple attorneys working together. You might appoint attorneys "jointly" (they must all agree on every decision) or "jointly and severally" (they can act independently). You could even mix these approaches – perhaps requiring joint decisions for major financial matters but allowing individual action for routine tasks.

Consider whether different people might be better suited to different types of decisions. Your financially-savvy sibling might be perfect for managing your Property and Financial Affairs LPA, while your healthcare-professional friend might be ideal for Health and Welfare decisions.

Taking the next step

Choosing your attorney is the hardest part of making a Lasting Power of Attorney, but once you've made this decision, the rest becomes much more straightforward.

If you haven't already explored the different types of LPA available, our guide to legal information and power of attorney options can help you understand which forms you'll need to complete.

Remember, you can change your mind about your choice of attorney at any time before you register your LPA. Even after registration, you can cancel and make a new one if your circumstances change, though there are fees involved.

The most important thing is to start the process. Having these conversations and making these decisions now, while you're able to think clearly about your preferences, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and your loved ones. It might feel daunting now, but future you will be grateful that you took the time to choose the right person for this crucial role.

For additional support with making your LPA, Citizens Advice offers free guidance, and you can find local support through their website. Taking this step is an act of care – for yourself and for the people who care about you.