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Friends

How to ensure the person keeps in touch with friends

A person with dementia can become increasingly isolated over time. They may struggle to socialise and interact with others as their condition progresses. Conversations can become difficult as the person may struggle to articulate their thoughts. They may find it hard to process what others say and need more time to absorb information. While some people have the patience to understand, others will be less sympathetic. In addition, some of their friends may feel awkward about their dementia and not know what to say.

Consequently, the person with dementia may lose some friends, and their social circle may shrink, which can negatively affect their emotional wellbeing. A person with dementia needs social contact and stimulation as much as anyone else. While they may not always want to be in busy environments, like noisy coffee shops or loud restaurants, they will still benefit from social contact.

There’s considerable evidence that even a small amount of social contact benefits a person with dementia. Research presented in 2018 at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference showed that just ten minutes of social interaction a day helps to improve the wellbeing of people with dementia living in care homes.

Finding reliable friends

Encourage the person to keep social activities going where possible. Work with family and relatives to identify friends and neighbours who will play a part in their lives. Find out who is happy to spend some time with them, go out with them, meet for coffee, or join them on an outing.

You may wish to explain to their friends and relatives that they will still benefit from the company. Even if they don’t retain information or remember the meeting afterwards, they will be happier as a result of the social contact.

Social contact will also help to stimulate the brain and have a positive impact on their mental health.

Ways their friends can stay involved and maintain their friendship…

  • Visiting them for a coffee and a chat

  • Accompanying the person on walks

  • Going to a café for a coffee or lunch

  • Joining the person at a local class or community event

  • Going out with the person to a concert and enjoying live music can be a great mood-booster without the need for lots of conversation

  • Calling them for a chat on the phone

The benefits of conversations

Some of the person’s friends or relatives may withdraw from the person because they find it challenging to have conversations. Some friends may feel that conversation is pointless, but this is not the case. Even if the person doesn’t remember the conversation, they will feel better afterwards. It’s often said that a person with dementia may not remember what you say but will remember how you make them feel. Encourage friends to visit and to keep interaction going.

How to improve conversations

Here are some ways their friends can make conversations better…

  • Ask opinion-based questions that don’t require the person to remember things. Tell them to avoid questions such as ‘What did you eat for breakfast?’ Questions like: ‘What do you think about that cat in the garden?’ are better as they require no memory. Opinions can’t be wrong.

  • Get them to share their own experiences. Even if they want to talk about the past and things they did many years ago, it’s still a conversation.

  • Ask them to help you choose your favourite outfit from a magazine article or look at photos together.

  • Don’t overwhelm the person with too much information. Use short sentences.

  • Give the person plenty of time to respond to questions or comments.

  • Explain to their friends that they don’t always have to talk. Company is important.